♥ HONEYYY,

I know I have the worst attitude among everyone you know. But I've really had enough of you complaining everything to mum. After we bicker, I'll always go to the room. But everytime I come out, I'll hear you telling mum, 'Pe je tu Fatin. Orang cume........' And off you go. Yes I know, you have close bonds with mum/our cousins and such. And they all know I'm the bitch. Right? I'm the one who always makes you cry, who always create problem. But no one understands how I feel. About how I hate almost everything about this family. About how I feel I'm not loved at times. I don't really talk about family problems to friends. Yes, maybe they know I always fight and such. But they don't know the things I'm going through. They don't know how I feel. It hurts to see how well other siblings can go along with each other. Yes, I'm jealous. And I swear I do wish it can somehow happen to us. But it's impossible.. I know, it's impossible. Even Riduan don't make me cry so much. It's always you, the brothers and family stuff. It's hard. I feel like I'm not needed in the family at all. My presence don't make any difference. Maybe if I were to die one day, things will be much better. Right? It's not the same when you tell mum what I'm feeling. Yes, I appreciate. But it would be better if mum realises it on her own. It's not the same. It's hard to ask her to go out of the room when I'm crying here.. I'll never have a heart-to-heart talk. It's hard.. I don't know what to do anymore. I've had enough.. And please, don't tag here. If you don't like me then don't come here. If you don't respect me, then respect my PRIVACY. Including MY DIARY.

Halo. :) I'm so bored now so I've decided to blog. These few days quite.. fun. :) Wednesday, didn't go school because I was sick & also super tired. But I went to do HOMEWORK. :) Thursday, did my HOMEWORK during asp. HEHE. Met Huda and Ama but Huda went off for her cca. Spent time with Amalina ♥ Yay I love! Talk about lanjut, gossip ABIT (hehe), catch up with each other. I like laaaaaaah! Then Ama went off with Syadd while Riduan came to find me. :)

Today, classes were boring. But I really am paying attention in class these days. :) Yes I'm proud ok. I've been teaching quite a few of my friends amaths questions and reaaaaaally feel happy when they get it. If my studying attitude goes on till o level, I'll certainly do well! Haaaaaaa I hope. I'm so scared of o level.. Okay stop boasting.

After school spent some time with Huda ♥ before I went for my parade training. Weather was such a beach.. T.T Ended at 4plus. Then went to gym for training. But I didn't even do anything. There wasn't any training, no playing badminton today. :( Sad. Thank God there is on Sunday.

Meeting Riduan ♥ tomorrow. Yay yay. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Okay I actually lazy to type already. HEHE. Byebye!

Riduan, W.S.K.
Huda Ama, I love you. Hahahhaa! :P

Craving for Yami Yoghurt :(

Okay fine I won't do my fnn just yet. I'll post first.

Yesterday was our 13th month ♥ We watched Twilight Saga Eclipse and had lunch at Eighteen.... something. I mentioned on facebook that I wanted to watch it at Cwp right? But the queue was like.. super long. So Riduan and I trained down to Yishun and watched there instead. Yes, from Sembawang to Woodlands to Yishun. Yishun gv isn't sooo famous, so we easily got the 1.30 movie.

Before the movie, we had lunch and our pasta had a super thick layer of cheese. Muakkkk. Got into the cinema after that. The movie wasn't bad, wasn't extremely good. Riduan said that there were too many kissing scenes (true), not good for young people. (Macam faham). And for me it wasn't so action-packed like the previous one. But Taylor Lautner was super funny, hahaha!

After the movie, went to Splash Park with his mum, sister and nephews. Heeeee I like! I didn't plan to get myself wet, but my jeans got super wet and shirt too (Riduan's fault)! But I had fun, hee! We had dinner at Banquet after that. Took shuttle bus back to their house. Then went home.

Just as Riduan was about to leave, we realised that his phone was lost. I kept saying it wasn't with me but he didn't believe :( :( :( Till he checked my bag. Seriously, it's lost. I feel super bad.. I last held it. I thought I gave it back to him. But he denied. It was probably left in the shuttle bus. I feel bad.. I feel horrible. I'm sorry Riduan. :( I really feel bad, I swear. Now I can't contact him in any way. Shucks.

After typing this, I'm feeling like shit again. Don't feel like blogging anymore. But I'll tell you what happened today..

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Deep cuts on face.

Kidding -_- We had this fire drill thingy right. And I was one of few people involved. Some were supposed to act as traumatized, some as missing, and some as injured. Had make up and it's a once in a lifetime experience right? I have to admit that it was fun, but on the other hand, LOST FACE. Suck at acting. Nevermind it's over.

But the "blood" is cool huh? However cleaning it up wasn't cool. The glue or something got stuck onto my hair and it was super hard getting it off. Ahhhhhh I'm not in good mood now. Have to do fnn coursework now. Byebye. I love Riduan. I miss Riduan.

Happy 13th ♥♥♥♥♥