♥ HONEYYY,

I know I have the worst attitude among everyone you know. But I've really had enough of you complaining everything to mum. After we bicker, I'll always go to the room. But everytime I come out, I'll hear you telling mum, 'Pe je tu Fatin. Orang cume........' And off you go. Yes I know, you have close bonds with mum/our cousins and such. And they all know I'm the bitch. Right? I'm the one who always makes you cry, who always create problem. But no one understands how I feel. About how I hate almost everything about this family. About how I feel I'm not loved at times. I don't really talk about family problems to friends. Yes, maybe they know I always fight and such. But they don't know the things I'm going through. They don't know how I feel. It hurts to see how well other siblings can go along with each other. Yes, I'm jealous. And I swear I do wish it can somehow happen to us. But it's impossible.. I know, it's impossible. Even Riduan don't make me cry so much. It's always you, the brothers and family stuff. It's hard. I feel like I'm not needed in the family at all. My presence don't make any difference. Maybe if I were to die one day, things will be much better. Right? It's not the same when you tell mum what I'm feeling. Yes, I appreciate. But it would be better if mum realises it on her own. It's not the same. It's hard to ask her to go out of the room when I'm crying here.. I'll never have a heart-to-heart talk. It's hard.. I don't know what to do anymore. I've had enough.. And please, don't tag here. If you don't like me then don't come here. If you don't respect me, then respect my PRIVACY. Including MY DIARY.